Smart? Cocky? Stupid? Bitch?

Do I think I'm smarter than I actually am? I'm pondering over this, because I've noticed that I seem to make a lot of my decisions based on knowledge and intelligence. To give examples, I prefer to associate myself with people who are also knowledgable, whether it be on my level or beyond. I'm curious, I enjoy learning, so I'd like to learn from other people and hear them out on things they are questioning as well. I've noticed that I will not date someone if they aren't intellectually stimulating or compatible with me. Do I have a big ego? I don't like the idea of myself thinking I'm "better" than anyone else, because I don't think I do. I don't have much patience with people who don't understand either, especially if they're not willing, but I also feel that I'm used to understanding and am annoyed when I have to spell everything out for someone, I guess I can't be a teacher. I really hope none of this is sounding self-centered, this is just something i'm thinking about out loud right now. I try my best to figure things out on my own before asking for help, sometimes that's a good thing and other times bad. What if I break something or ruin it? And when and if I do ask for help, I feel defeated, even though I know I shouldn't, because asking for help isn't a bad thing. In fact, I think it's smart to ask for help when you need it, and knowing you need help is smart too. I also feel like a contributing factor to these feelings have to do with my placement in the gifted program as a kid. It was great to be in a class with people who understood me. As I grew up and because the program does not go on into high school-- when I was there I felt lost. I did not feel understood. I didn't know why people didn't care about anything or wasn't at the same level as me, until I realized that I was used to being surrounded with others like me. I guess we're different. I don't want anyone to think we're better than them though, because it has nothing to do with how good of a person we are. I don't know. Am I rambling? Does anyone understand this feeling? Am I overanalyzing? And do I sound like a bitch, that's one of my biggest fears when it comes to writing (that my innocent thoughts will be taken negatively). Let me know your thoughts on this or if you ever feel this way too. xx Mad