Hey guys, it’s been a while since we spoke… to be honest, I wasn’t really motivated to write. The pandemic blues got to me, and so much was going on and I was so emotional and during those times I’m very critical of what I write, so I just wasn’t in a good headspace. There was a lot of grieving that went on and now here I am, feeling more growth. And that’s what I want to talk about today. I’m graduating college this week and it’s honestly so surreal. I NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS THOUGHT I WOULD GET HERE… to the end of the finish line.
My freshman year of high school is when I first started to question whether or not I wanted to go to college. We took a class that was essentially about career planning and applying to college. Before then, it had just seemed like it was a given—I was in gifted classes growing up, so they always expected us to further our education in the future. They’d say, “when you go to college,” instead of “if you choose.”
The second time I questioned college was actually my sophomore year of college, I came home from a bad first experience in St. Augustine and started creating YouTube videos again. I was so inspired being back home, sharing my story with people online and I was really working hard at getting consistent content out. I spoke with my parents about halting my college career there while I was ahead and starting a YouTube career to my fullest capacity. Having the money from my retail job to support myself to get better equipment and software for my videos. It would also give me more free time, to not be in school, more time for coming up with ideas and shooting, etc. Once I talked with my parents, they tried to reassure me that college was the best option, they didn’t want to see my fail, they wanted to see me pursue something more secure.
And in order, to please their wishes, I decided to ask my friend (now mentor) how she achieved her career in the blogosphere. She directed me to Florida International University and gave me advice on the best courses and majors to choose for a career in digital communications. The only thing holding me back at the time was a relationship, and once that was over, I was off to Miami. I applied, was accepted, and moved to Miami by January.
When I first got to Miami, I had no real expectations, the only time I’d come down before was to see concerts, so I wasn’t sure what it was really like to live there. Now, after living here for two and half years, I can say that it has its ups and downs. Miami is such a big county and there is a much bigger population than I had anticipated. The population and all of the different cultures here contribute to what it’s like to live in Miami.
FIU is a whole ‘nother ball game… it’s sort of representative of Miami though, with so many cultures and pre-dominantly Latinx cultures. FIU, or at least my major, was a lot more liberal minded and the teachers I’ve had there were fantastic. All of them, so productive and successful in their field, it was great to seek mentorship from the teachers there and the networking at FIU is unlike any other place. We’re all on LinkedIn like it’s our Facebook!
Something that I finally sought out at FIU, after going to three different schools, was to finally go out and utilize the resources that universities give to you for free. I started going to counseling/therapy, I utilized the food pantry services, and I met with a life coach to keep me on track to be successful in school and in my personal life. Without those tools or the constant support/encouragement of my family and friends… I wouldn’t be graduating. I tried so many times to quit.
As a creative, I have a difficult time being structured and doing what other people want me to do, rather than following my gut. I’m also very impatient and super picky with teachers. I said I was finished at the end of multiple semesters, but somehow the universe wouldn’t let me off the hook so easy. There was always something that kept me back in school, like it was inevitable. I think that’s why I’m not as excited as my peers, because it was tough for me to stay motivated.
So no, I’m not excited for this really expensive piece of paper, I just feel like it was inevitable and I’m just glad that it’s over. I have never had a break since graduating high school. Even every single summer I’ve taken classes. I’m glad to finally be done and to have more time/money to pursue what I want right this instant.
Anyway, now that I’m here, I recently had a meeting with my life coach, and we went over how much I’ve grown since I met her. I first started meeting with her Fall 2019. We discussed all that I’ve went through and come out of on the other side. So, I just wanted to make a post recognizing that growth.
First, she reminded me that growth is a form of self-care. Then we recognized that I’ve learned:
· Make myself a priority
· Prioritize my financials
· I’m stronger than I think
· Have more confidence in myself
· I do have a support system (even when it feels like no one’s around)
· I want to grow in the company (Madewell)
· Don’t drop everything for everyone (they can wait/be patient)
· Use up what you have first, before buying
· it’s okay to say NO
We’ve all been through a lot over this quarantine and disproportionately so, students have. I just want to remind everyone that as long as you’re doing the best you can, every day will get a little bit easier. Congratulations to my fellow Class of 2020! We made it out of the dark and now there’s an even bigger journey ahead of us… the real world.
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